3,6,9, Damn you're fine.

So, I basically did absolutely nothing today.
I finally got to actually sleep in for the first time in three weeks, so I slept in until noon, and of course, felt sick when I woke up.
That's an annoying thing about me; I always feel sick.
Oh well, my day was still good.
My room is conjoined with my bathroom, so, I basically locked myself into my bedroom/bathroom, listened to the radio and did makeup in underwear all day.
I like days like that.
I love makeup. I save three hours of every night for doing makeup.
Which is great, because I'll never need someone to do my makeup for me when I'm superfamous.
Mhm, I'm going to be famous.
And not for being something stupid, like being a Jordin Sparks ;) .
No, I'm new. Don't worry, you can't find another girl like me.
I talk to this guy, Brian (not his real name), everyday.
I used to really like him, like A LOT, but I made myself not like him, because I was with my now ex-boyfriend, who made a hellofalot of promises that he couldn't keep.
But, I've wasted like, three months being mad at him, and I talked to him for the first time since the breakup laaaast Thursday, and I just don't want to talk about that anymore. (For angry poetry about him, go to http://beautifulpeopleonly.blogspot.com )
So, sorry you guys missed that whole thing of my life.
At least his new girlfriend is like, ten times less hot than me. That fact is so weirdly satisfying.
And the fact that I can be like, "Hey, bitch. Who fucked your boyfriend last?" if she ever says a single bad word to me. (The answer is me. I fucked him last.)
But, anyway, BRIAN, he's great.
I love him a lot, in a kind of unexplainable way.
As more than a friend, but not in the direction of being in love with him.
More like a part of me; that's how I love him.
We're pretty much polar opposites.
I believe that happiness, love and inner-self-peace are the most important and almost unattainable things in the world - he just wants the world to blow up.
Right there, that should show you how inexplicably different we are.
He's two years older than me (I'm fourteen, I'll be fifteen this day next month).
I'm a spaz, and he's pretty much always calm.
I'm going to come off like a real ditz, but I think after a while of reading my writings, you'll realize I'm actually really smart and pensive, I'm just into being a girl. And that pretty much always comes off ditzy.
I'm actually pretty scared, but I don't usually allow that to be admitted to myself.
Scared that I'll end up alone, scared that there isn't one perfect person for me, scared of dying, scared that I'll die unsatisfied.
I project confidence, security, and I'm completely glam in every way, but that's not everything about me.
Truth is, I have a lot of almost every kind of person in me.
Like, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm rebellious, I'm peaceful.
I'm so many conflicting factors.
But, now I have to go watch 17 Again, which I really don't think I'll like.
Just to set the record straight, I hate shit like Twilight.
I'm a teenaged girl, but I'm not fucking stupid.
I'm on neither Team Jacob or Team Edward.
They can both suck my dick.
:)
(I'm also not too vulgar, only about things I effing hate, k?)