K, so.
I forget what I talked about last time, but I am in a fucking weirdass mood.
Which is good. But? Why did I say but? Whatever.
I just don't think about what I type, and it comes out, comes out? And it is good.
Usually. Mostly. I'm not high, promise. Not at all.
But I like, didn't talk to Brian for a little, after I sort of made it seem like I liked him.
I can totally 100% promise I do not like him. I'm tres certain of it.
I speak fluant French! Did you know that?
I really do. I have two classes in French.
I love French, I do. It is great. I like how edgy and raw french can be, and it has way too many syllables. Like, "Can I?" is "Est-ce que je peut?" in French. Soooo many syllables.
Ef, I am tired. Happy 1:48 a.m.!
Au matin. That's what that stands for. Hello, french!
Which came first, French or English? I totally don't even know!
Woah!
You'd think I'd know such things.
Well, maybe you wouldn't, but I would. I'm actually really smart. But I come off completely ditzy.
I've told you that before.
I am in a very tired bouncy bubbly insane jsngilIOGYHWEIOGH mood.
I am talking to Brian now. I don't want to tell him that I don't like him incase I ever like him again, 'cause I don't like it when people know how much I change my mind.
But actually! Case solved. About my ex. I know what I want to be to him.
I don't want to be his friend, I just want to be able to talk to him and hang out in the same groups as him. (All of our friends are mutual, so that def gets in the way)
I don't want to be his friend in October when he's going out with his girlfriend/ex that he emotionally cheated on with me.
(That is what happened last year, by the way. Exactly.)
Well Brian just sent me a fucking funny song!
Sex and Violence by The Exploited.
It's just "sex and violence, sex and violence", over and over again.
Sometimes people say 'over and over and over again' which is like when people say 'over-exaggerating' they're like double negatives or oxy morons, with that like, overdone vibe to them.
Gross. Overdone.
Overdone is just never a good thing, unless you're being avante-guarde about it.
Woah, the tempo just sped the shit up.
I am supermusical.
For the spring concert at my school, me and my friend Tyson are meshing together three songs:
1. People Are Strange by the Doors
2. Bridge
3. Either Follow Me by Uncle Cracker or something that I can't remember and it's making me insane.
4. Bridge
5. Lighthouse by Hush Sound
I sing, he plays piano. I play guitar, too, but I don't want to stand up and play guitar and sing at the same time, because that would limit my freedom, and ultimately lessen my fun.
So, no.
OhhhmydeargoodGod, I am tired.
I don't believe in God, really.
Sometimes I'm scared he exists and all my fornication and doubt and.. other stuff will send me to Hell for real. But then I realize that I wouldn't belong in Heaven anyway.
I am edgy and innovative and sex is my favourite, and I like dark films, and I am a bit dark, the way I want to be and the way I think is pretty dark.
I will always appear girly, but as my means extend I will become more edgy and dark, because that is just the way I'm meant to be.
Fashion will probably always be number one, but I'll have my own projects, as I do now.
Well, number one under whoever I fall in love with.
Love is the most important thing to me.
But I don't want to get married.
And I am NOT having kids.
With kids, it's not like, oh, at the moment I don't think I will want them.
It's more like I will fucking never have kids 'cause they bother me after they start to speak.
I know, that's so friggen terrible. But at least I recognize it in myself.
With marriage, it's like, well, if the person I love really wants to get married, and it means a lot to them, I might do it.
But that's not something I really aim for or want.
I am so tired. It's beyond.
I want to be a muse. Haha, I just remembered what this blog is called.
But, seriously, I want to be the muse to some huge designer, like Valentino or Posen.
I love Fendi! And I love this new line, by a new designer, she's Canadian, I forget her name, but it's so cool, she has this whole feminin et masculin thing going on, the link to her site is http://lilyandjae.com/. I love it. Specifically the coats and the dresses, but of course, dresses and skirts are all I wear. Oh, and ripped leggings. That's one 2009 trend I love.
I DO NOT LOVE THE FACKING HORIZONTAL STRIPES THING. Totally unwearable. Unless you are a pin. I'm not fat, but it's just an unrealistic trend.
I have to go to bed.
Xox moi